Poor Yumi
by Chippokena Kuma
Summary: Yachiru doesn't know better. Poor Yumi. One-shots concerning Yumichika and Yachiru
1. The Drawing!

**Just some Yumichika and Yachiru one-shots about Yachiru scarring Yumi *Evil laugh* :D .**

**Enjoy! This is... The Drawing.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not and probably will never own Bleach because I'm so poor I wouldn't be able to fund any of that. I can't even afford pencils, Just kidding! :D (Maybe)  
**

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Yumichika walked in the Eleventh Division Training Field looking wonderfully beautiful as always.

"La la la la!" Yachiru lay on the floor drawing something slightly grotesque looking.

"What are you doing Yachiru-chan?" Yumichika sat next to her making sure to properly place his hakama so it wouldn't wrinkle.

"I'm drawing us!" Yumichika looked down at the picture and made a repulsed noise at the childish drawing of Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Yachiru with awkward scary surprisingly detailed bodies.

"I-it's...wonderful." Yumichika said through his clenched teeth.

"I know fruity-chan!" Yumichika frowned at the nickname but said nothing as to not anger the little girl.

"What is that?" Yumichika looked what she was drawing and couldn't tell who she was drawing it on.

"It's your girly feather things." Yachiru told him completely devoted to finishing her picture.

"Are me and Ikkaku kissing?" Yumichika studied the picture squinting his eyes.

"Yep!" Yachiru piped.

Yumichika cringed it looked like they were merged together.

"Why are you bigger and in the front?" Yumichika asked the girl again.

"Because I am obviously the biggest, duh!" Yachiru laughed "Fruity-chan is so dumb." she laughed.

Yumichika couldn't take it, he ran out and promptly began to find the nearest reflection to make sure he was still beautiful and that he did not resemble the thing on that horrendous drawing.

**::::**

When she finished her drawing Kenpachi had on one of the low ranks hang it up.

Every time Yumichika passes by the drawing he has panic attack and passes out.

Poor Yumi.


	2. Drinking!

**I was just wondering if you could check out my other story about my OC and I know that as soon as you read 'OC' you thought no but please. *Puppy dog eyes* No one can resist the puppy dog eyes *Evil laugh* wait did I write that out loud.  
**

**Enjoy! This is...Drinking.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach because there would be yaoi and yuri fangirls flying everywhere and it would have so much ecchi in it you don't even know!  
**

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Yumichika sat cross legged drinking his tenth bottle of sake. Just because he was feminine doesn't mean he couldn't hold his liquor.

"Feathery-chan!" Yachiru yelled out running in destroying the silence.

"Hello!" Yumichika greeted her cheerfully slightly tipsy but still disappointed about someone cutting in his alone time.

"What are you drinking?" Yachiru tilted her head.

"Sake."

"Oh! I know what that is, Ken-chan won't let me have none cause he said it would make me crazier than I already am." Yachiru said.

"Good." Yumichika nodded his head at her.

"I'm not crazy!" Yachiru puffed up her cheeks.

"Of course not." Yumichika smiled at her which made her brighten.

"Can I have some then?" Yachiru jumped up and down, pretty sure Yumichika was going to say yes.

"No."

"What!" Yachiru exploded, no one says no to her.

"I m-mean um-" Yumichika was cut off when Yachiru grabbed the bottle in his hand and downed it in one gulp.

"See." Yachiru hiccuped and grabbed the other bottle on floor next to Yumichika and before he could stop her, she downed that one too with difficulty.

"Yachiru! Are you okay?" Yumichika held the girl steady which in turn made her vomit on him.

Aaaaahhhhhhhh! A scream everyone in the Soul Society heard.

**::::**

Yachiru and Yumichika were checked in the fourth, Yachiru to ensure the alchhol didn't damage her system.

Yumichika was in there because he was currently paralyzed from shock and because Kenpachi put him in a coma.

Poor Yumi.


	3. Sleep!

**Here is another one! Enjoy! This is...Sleep!  
**

**Disclaimer: Why would I be writing fanfiction if I owned Bleach. Geez -_-  
**

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"Psst. Psst. Psst!" Yachiru yelled in Yumichika's ear.

"W-what!?" Yumichika woke up frantically then he noticed Yachiru sitting next to his futon, "Y-yachiru-chan, what's wrong?" He asked while blinking to clear his vision.

"I had a bad dream." Yachiru said softly, she was holding her lollipop bear that Rangiku had given to her from the Human World.

"Okay." Yumichika looked at her after a while his mind cleared up and he realized Yachiru wanted to sleep with him "I guess you can sleep with me..." He scooted over to let her in.

"Thanks, pretty-chan." Yachiru laid down next to him and closed her eyes.

It seems Yachiru comes up with her more considerate nicknames when she was tired.

Yumichika closed his eyes too and fell asleep.

Not even 5 minutes later, Yachiru was poking Yumichika.

"Yes?" Yumichika mumbled, still half asleep.

"Why do you wear that on your head?" Yachiru asked giggling.

"Huh?" Yumichika remembered he was wearing a head wrap made out of bandages "So my hair stays beautiful." He flicked imaginary hair that would've been out.

"Oh, okay." Yachiru closed her eyes again.

Not even 5 minutes later, Yachiru was poking Yumichika.

"Yes?" Yumichika uttered, still half asleep.

"What is that in Baldy-chan's hakama?" Yachiru asked pointing to where Ikkaku was.

"Huh!?" Yumichika looked so quickly he thought he heard his neck crack.

Ikkaku had an obvious tent in his hakama and the bald man was grinning excessively.

"Nothing for you to worry about." Yumichika turned Yachiru the other way.

"Oh, okay." Yachiru then closed her eyes and she finally fell asleep.

Not even 5 minutes late, Yachiru was kicking Yumichika **hard**.

"What!?" Yumichika yelled out his eyes blazing "Damn it! Can't I get some f-" Yumichika stopped talking when he realized that Yachiru was just kicking in her sleep.

"Finally." Yumichika closed his eyes and fell asleep smiling.

**::::**

When Yumichika woke up he couldn't even stand up, it appeared that Yachiru broke some bones due to her kicking.

Yumichika had to be taken to Squad four. When Ikkaku came and visited him, the bald man didn't even say hello, he just burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Yumichika asked.

"Here have a lo-" Ikkaku didn't finish his sentence because he laughed again when he showed Yumichika his reflection in one of the glasses they had in Squad four.

"My hair!" Yumichika yelled out then he screamed loudly.

Yachiru did more than kicking, she seemed to have took Yumichika's head wrap off and now his hair was in disarray. It was sticking everywhere and he also had a bald patch or two.

Poor Yumi.


End file.
